Women Fears and Hesitation To Fight

Let’s discuss fear and hesitation with Safety Defense Coach: Amy Washington. ©2016 Brick Street Safety Academy

Being leery, unsure or hesitant will surely cause injury or death.

In each of the classes that I’ve instructed there is always a cluster of women who have said one or all of the following:

“I don’t know if I can do this!”

“I can’t see myself fighting someone.”

“I don’t think I have the strength or power to fight.”

“I can’t see myself pulling the trigger.”

“I don’t know if I can defend myself.”

And so on.

All of the above statements unfortunately came from a place of fear and also from a place of inexperience. When fear and inexperience are linked together they can cause hesitation, and hesitation then produces ineffectiveness. When a person is ineffective it puts them at greater risk to defend themself in potentially dangerous situations.

Take a look at the following video:

In the context that we’re discussing hesitation and fear, this video certainly rings a bell listening to the words of Will Smith: “Danger is very real, but fear is a choice!”

Imagine your life being threatened by a mad man with a knife. He’s holding the knife inches away from your throat.

What do you do?

Stand there and pray that everything will work out?

Do you plead and plead with the deranged man?

Do you allow fear to polarize you?

Do you let the man cut your throat?

~Or~

do you fight for your life?

Hopefully, you would choose to fight for your life. You must not allow your fears to stifle you. You must stay focused and fight for your life!

Let’s look at the previous questions now attached to thoughts of fear.

“I don’t know if I can do it!”

Thoughts of fear:

           I’m afraid I will fail.

“I can’t see myself fighting someone.”

Thoughts of fear:

             I’m afraid I wouldn’t know how to defend myself.

“I don’t think I have the strength or power to fight.”

Thoughts of fear:

             I’m afraid I am not strong enough.

“I can’t see myself pulling the trigger.”

Thoughts of fear:

             I’m fearful that I’ll miss.

“I don’t know if I can defend myself.”

Thoughts of fear:

             I am afraid of what will happen to me.

When you undermine your abilities with the above thoughts or similar thoughts of fear you’re diminishing your chances to fight or survive an attack or an assault. You must not entertain what you cannot do, but focus on what you can and should do to save your life!

Earlier, I linked fear with inexperience. Sadly, most women aren’t groomed to engage in combat thinking. Their biggest lesson of defense is to kick a man in his groin. This is the holy grail of defense for most females. Women who have taken my class NOW know that this is not the best course of action to take.

Sadly, there is a serious deficit when it comes to self-defense with most women. The deficit derives from lack of confidence, knowledge and knowing that it is okay to fight when it is necessary. In my opinion, when a female is taught or told what not to do as a child with limitations and contradictions of defense, hinders her ability to act or defend herself as she grows older. Such as: “Don’t raise your voice.”, “Don’t get into a fight!”, “Don’t show your meanness or don’t get mad or angry because it’s not lady like.” Unfortunately, when that female child becomes an adult, and finds herself in a situation where she needs to become aggressive to save her life, she may find it very difficult to do so.

This reminds me when I was teaching a self-defense class and I asked one of the young ladies to punch the heavy bag. She hesitated, then proceeded to tapped the bag lightly. I asked her again to hit the bag as hard as she can. She literally could not get herself to hit the bag with force. So, I asked her what was she thinking while hitting the bag. She answered: “I’m not a fighter.” I explained to her that no one wants to fight, but a person must be able to protect and defend him or herself against violent offenders or attacks. I reminded her that there could come a time to react and defend herself from an attacker and when that time comes, who cares if she’s fighting and raising her voice to defend herself to survive! Who cares if she has to be a little mean or rude to avoid looking like a soft target! And, who cares if she gets mad and angry to defend or protect herself! The only person that should care is her and her love ones. No other person matters!  This is what I shared and stressed to the ladies in class that when you are fighting for your life, nothing and no one else matters with the exception of YOU, and your love ones. Your love ones want YOU to fight for your life

Why? BECAUSE YOU MATTER!

After that conversation the young lady finally realized if was okay to fight!

Always know that you have the ability…

to do anything that you set your mind to do!

fight someone in self-defense.

to find the strength or power to do whatever it is that you need to do to protect yourself.

to pull the trigger if necessary.

defend yourself.

Two reasons for hesitation or ineffectiveness:

Fear of the unknown

inexperience

Possible consequences of hesitation:

Injured badly

shot

Raped

stabbed

~or~

Death

What would be your choice when it’s time to fight for your life, fear or your life? The choice is yours.

Be Alert, Aware and most definitely BE SAFE!! 🙂

________________________________________________________________________________________

Author of article: Safety Defense Coach-Amy Washington. ©2016 Brick Street Safety Academy